The strangest things remind me of you. Not the things like you’d expect like seeing a couple on the subway or your pictures, things like that.
Instead, escalators remind me of you. Every time I’m on an escalator I remember our first date, and how nervous I was. I remember that somehow I managed to get escalator grease on my forehead and you weren’t sure whether to tell me or not. I remember that you put your arm around me and kept it there for that entire awful movie. I remember how you took me downtown on the train and I was totally preoccupied the entire time because I kept thinking about how dry my lips were.
Gorillas remind me of you. And, really, how often do you see gorillas but for some reason the word has been in the AM New York’s crossword at least three times since you left. I remember that time we went to the Bronx Zoo and we were in the gorilla exhibit. I couldn’t see the glass and thought that a gorilla was going to walk across our path. And of course that seems ridiculous now but I really did think that, so I ran. You laughed because you couldn’t understand why I was so afraid, but then you hugged me and called me adorable.
The mug you bought me from Kansas reminds me of you. I remember how I used the same mug at your grandparents house every morning, because I liked the imprint of the wheat that it had on it. And when we went to the Phoenix Gallery, you saw that there were mugs that had wheat painted on it. So you bought me one so that I would always remember going to Kansas with you. And the great time that we had visiting your grandparents in that beautiful house that they sold.
And now because they remind me of you, they also make me sad.
mika grace kelly (Good sound) (by supermonkeyondarun)
i want to talk to you
(the last time we talked mr smith you reduced me to tears i promise you it wont happen again)
do i attract you?
do i repulse you with my queasy smile?
am i too dirty?
am i too flirty?
do i like what you like? i could be wholesome
i could be loathsome
i guess im a little bit shy
why dont you like me?
why dont you like me?
without making me try?
I tried to be like grace kelly(mmm)
but all her looks were to sad(uhhh)
so i tried a little freddy(MMMM)
ive gone identity mad!!
i could be brown
i could be blue
i could be violet sky
i could be hurtful
i could be purple
i could be anything you like
gotta be green
gotta be mean
gotta be everything more
why dont you like me?
why dont you like me?
why dont you walk out the door?
(getting angry doesn’t solve anything)
how can i help it?
how can i help it?
how can i help what you think?
hello my baby
hello my baby
putting my life on the brink
why dont you like me?
why dont you like me?
why dont you like yourself?
should i bend over?
should i look older?
just to be put on the shelf?
i tried to be like grace kelly(mmm)
but all her looks were to sad(uhh)
so i tried a little freddie(MMMM)
iv gone identity mad!!
i could be brown
i could be blue
i could be violet sky
i could hurtful
i could be purple
i could be anything you like
gotta be green
gotta be mean
gotta be everything more
why don’t you like me
why don’t you like me
walk out the door!
say what you want to satisfy yourself hey!
but you only want,what everybody else says you should want, you want.
i could be brown
i could be blue
i could be violet sky
i could hurtful
i could be purple
i could be anything you like
gotta be green
gotta be mean
gotta be everything more
why don’t you like me why don’t you like me
walk out the door
i could be brown
i could be blue
i could be violet sky
i could hurtful
i could be purple
i could be anything you like
gotta be green
gotta be mean
gotta be everything more
why don’t you like me why don’t you like me
walk out the door
ooo000o0o0o0ooooahh humphrey we’re leaving!
kachinga!
I wish everyone would stop asking me, “How are you?” and “Are you okay?”. No, as a point of fact, I am not okay. I am actually extremely far from being okay. But people don’t want that answer. People wan’t you to say yes, and “I’m fine”. If you answer truthfully and say, “No, actually I’m miserable,” they think you’re being overdramatic.
God damn it! I was doing so well today. Why did you call? Why do you sound fine? Do you miss me at all? Did the last five years mean anything???
- At the front desk of your job.
- In class (even if you are watching a movie).
- On any form of public transportation including but not limited to: express buses, subway trains, and ferries.
- On the street.
- In the bathroom at school.
- At your friends graduation.
- In the cafeteria.
- (Let’s just make it: don’t cry in school, anywhere, at all)
- In the kitchen.
- In front of anyone that you do not know personally: they do not react well.
I have experimented and though I know that there are more places where it is inappropriate to start crying randomly, these are the ones I have personally tested in the last week or so. I wish you luck in your endeavor to avoid these particular places.
